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| TV,
Jerry Carpenter,
20 January 1999 |
Rating: F3
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I’m not a cop on the edge, and I’m not an intern in a gore-soaked casualty ward. I don’t deal drugs at raves, and I’m not starting up a jazz club in a small Northern town. So that kind of sees my current lifestyle unreflected by modern television drama. Until now – Hoo-HAH !, because finally a bunch of hotshot BBC scripters ( ‘This Life’ and ‘The Cops’!!) have noodled up an exciting, glossy series that totally reflects the fast moving world of cutting-edge internet journalism. Yeah –haha, dream on boyo.
‘Attachments’ follows the staff of a ‘kicking’ internet site as they move into a more commercially backed situation. Oooh – kind of like us! There’s fretting galore as the boys and girls wrangle with the multiple problems of hiring sales and marketing folk, keeping their site pages at a nice low file size, and schmoozing up with their nasty backer to stop him from backing out. Well, not really that much like us. The girls are all hotties, and the guys aren’t bad either. Even the nerdy guys have got nice hair. Heck, I can’t remember the last time I saw a girl, but maybe that’s because I haven’t washed my hair since April. The episode culminates with a war of words with the backer guy which almost sinks the site, but luckily he has a stroke in the toilets and so everything’s sorted. Actually, now I think about, I’m pretty sure someone did die in my toilet once.
It’s not that it’s a bad show - it’s quite well written, and the cast are all OK. It’s just that it feels like someone fed all the relevant information into a special TV show making machine, and this got squeezed out. It’s got the same styles, the same emotional pitch, and the same sexual tension stuff as all the ‘grown-up’ Beeb pushes out these days. It’s guffaw inducing stuff when episode does the uber-cliched business drama scene with the team banging out an eleventh hour re-do of the site to the accompaniment of a banging big beat tune. Fair-do’s, the fact remains that you’d be really hard pressed to accurately reflect the ins and outs of the industry in a compelling watchable form, and this zeitgeisty subject’s been mangled worse in the past – remember 'Hackers?', remember 'Killer Net?' But maybe its time someone called it quits, realised it’s a dull subject, and got back into producing more cops-on-the-edge-in-a-busy-hospital-in-the-gritty-North dramas. And at least ‘Killer Net’ was funnier.
BBC2 Tues 21.50
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