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| TV,
Jerry Carpenter,
20 January 1999 |
Rating: F4
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‘The ground will erupt, mountains will be pounded into dust, the oceans will boil in the Ultimate Armageddon’ – well that’s nice dear. The way ol’ gravel throat Johnny Hurt puts it, you’d think it was happening Tuesday. It’s another BIG documentary, with BIG effects, BIG words, and the BIGGEST subject of 'em all – the mysteries of the universe explained, again. In the same way that BBC’s big dino doc ‘Walking with Dinosaurs’ was really just a glossy big budget re-tread of familiar themes with a couple of innovations (how they really walked/ate..etc –we think), Channel 4’s ‘Universe’ comes on like the usual open university fodder with Babylon 5 out-takes chucked in for eye-candy.
Actually said CGI stuff is pretty cool, and fans of the opening scene of ‘Contact’ and closing scene of ‘2001’ (pretty much everyone, I hope) will get more than their fair share of jollies here. Even the scene of a star exploding is a direct crib of the effect used when the Klingon moon bites it in Star Trek 6.
The heart of the show is a series of interviews with chief astrologers, astronauts, and other bearded nutters of note. Each gets introduced over clips of them driving blank-faced down desert roads, or cycling around campus (if they're young 'uns). The Italian Eclipse chaser in the show I caught also suffered the ignominy of being trowled in so much foundation you could barely make out his features. When will someone realise these kind of people were not designed for prime-time TV, and that to style them as such makes them just look stupider.
The soundtrack sucks sporadically, like someone has tried to re-invent Holst by way of Vangelis. The solar flare footage is FANTASTIC, however and the cake is iced delightfully when they cut the music and edit in the "actual sound of the Sun" (I kid you not). The best line comes soon after as they introduce the wispy-haired charmer who apparently discovered "The Weirdest object in the universe" – strange, I don’t remember showing that guy the contents of my underpants.
Channel 4 Mon 21.00 GMT
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