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| Oh the barbarism of my ancestors!!!!!!! |
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| Talk,
Heather Lennox,
02:00:00,
01 October 2001 | |
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We all have strange habits, but none so strange as the habits of your kith and kin when they have been raised thousands of miles away from you..
Here a few examples of the barbarism of my quaint but bewildering relations in Scotland.
Granny reusing tea-bags for a second cup of tea. Use it once, then throw it away ..for god sakes!!
Auntie Jean (in Massachusetts visiting from the Scottish Borders) eating pizza with a knife and fork in the middle of Papa Gino's restaurant. Everyone else using fingers.. and staring.
Granny again, folding up Christmas wrapping paper to reuse it for who knows when. Throw that away! It's rubbish now!
Not tipping the waitress although she is clearly emaciated and about to die. Then when they do tip, it's 10%! It's 15% guys! Come on.
Instant tea? Ugh!
Grampa taking apart perfectly good working watches and telephones, all of the guts dumped next to his copy of the radio times; just for something to do in his octogenarian years! The waste!
..15 Aunties, all huddled in a big rugby scrum in Prestick Airport, weeping and booing from the top of their lungs because one is flying back to Connecticut from Scotland and they won't see her for another 2 years! Oh the embarrassment for a 14 year old niece.
Pouring me out a half filled, luke warm bath... that won't get you clean. Why do it?
Grampa watching a film, then halfway through the film, deciding now tired; switches off the programme, not even caring how it turns out for Bo Derek and Dudley Moore. I was watching that!
Being sent to the shoppie to buy lard to make a suet dumpling!!!!!! Yurgh.
Hot chocolate made with hot water! What is with you?
Going to visit a grumpy relation and not being offered a simple cup of tea. For shame.
Going to visit a grumpy relation, given a pure white cup of tea & one biscuit that is 2 inches in diameter and tastes of postage stamp glue. I could never.
Shippams yucky paste on toast...spaghetti ...chocolate nut spread ...toad on toast in the hole.. everything on toast!
What is this toast mania? Was there a toast famine?
Half a grapefruit as a starter at dinner? Grapefruit is a breakfast thing..leave it alone. It isn't nice with chicken or prawns you sickos.
Potato sandwiches..or chip butties as you know them...I had some other interesting double food group ideas you could try. What about melted cheese on a piece of cold cheese? Fold over a pizza ..fill it up with hotdogs! Same thing!
I am glad I moved to London, at least nothing makes sense in a uniformity of cultural chaos here.
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