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| In which I obtain a MegaPass, and the benefits therein. |
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| Talk,
Mr Harbour-Barbour,
18 January 1999 | |
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My apologies for staying away since the Christmas period. The explanation for my absence is the subject of this communiqué, that a mere few days after the big day I purchased the non-food barginous item that has admitted me to a never-ending supply of entertainment!
Within a nutshell the concept is this, you purchase a piece of red-cardboard from your local picture house to the sum of fifteen pounds and from that day onward for a whole month you can pass in and out of the screening rooms there to your hearts content. An when that monthly period expires fret not, because you can buy another card!
Looking at the offer mathematically boggles the mind, if the price of a regular ticket is five pounds and fifty pence, then it concurs that you only need to visit a mere three times to break even. Now if the average modern film is roughly 120 minutes long and the amount of useable daytime minutes in a month is thirty times sixty times ten (taking into account time spend bathing, eating and banking) that’s eighteen thousand minutes. Remove the three paid for films (360 minutes) and you’re left with ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY SEVEN FREE FILMS !, that’s a saving of EIGHT HUNDRED POUNDS! Surely then a princely bargain to start the new millennium.
With these facts and figures in mind I have now visited my local cinema more times in the past weeks then in all the years gone by combined. Where many frugal minded folk may see ‘Bicentennial Man’ just the once and taken it as a shallow piece of sentimental triteness, I have seen it fifteen times and can now view it as a masterpiece of futuristic design aesthetic predictions. Disposing of the plot and characters by the third viewing I found myself concentrating in on the furnishings and products of the next two centuries. Fascinating.
Likewise, films that others may consider appalling and fit for no-one but the unscrubbed have delighted me on repeated viewing. ‘The Bone Collector’ has wonderful hospital sets and compulsive location shooting in New York alleyways and sewers. ‘Double Jeopardy’ has stirring background music and a very lovely young lady in various states of distress. And on my eighth visit to ‘The Iron Giant’, I found a shiny pound coin discarded in the aisle! In summing up, an offer I wholeheartedly urge every man woman and child to take advantage of.
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