|
| Foocha! is a non-profit Web site. We do it for kicks, not for cash. If you're interested in writing for the site, click here |
|
 |
| Some Christmas words from France |
|
 |
|
| Talk,
Madame X,
15 January 1999 | |
|
| |
| |
|
I first want to apologise to my dear readers for not having brilliantly written about this lovely country I live in and its interesting little people for a bit, but I had to recover from a couple of strange things I have been experiencing for your benefit. Why did I happen to be at home for the Miss World Contest ? Why did I sit myself in front of the TV? Why did I then watched the whole thing ? Sometimes I wonder if living here does not make me behave like them
.but how could that be?
I don’t drink beer so that can’t be it; I don’t play with condoms in pubs to pretend I have a sexual life; I haven’t been stuffed with English roast beef and salt and vinegar crisps since I was born either and I don’t have carpet in my kitchen so
what is that makes me become the sort of English normal TV addict? Maybe did I think that France would get something out of it? No it can’t be that either as nobody gives a monkeys about Miss World in France. We can’t even be bothered voting for one: our vision of foreign beauty has been altered by the fact that our streets are crowded by natural beauties anyway
Look at me for instance. That is the reason why I had to come here. My rosbif boyfriend could not have survived the idea of leaving such a phenomenon behind. Quite right too. You can’t blame him.
Anyway, my point is, who voted for miss UK? Honesly what is wrong with you guys? I could not believe my eyes and just my eyes as she obviously had very little to impress my ears about. Mind you she has a talent that not many have and which I think is particularly soooo British is the length of time she could hold that horrible British fake and constipated smile for. Now THAT impressed me. The whole show was in general quite traumatising for me. I think I carried on watching just to make sure it would be the same quality of presentation until the end
and it was I don’t know who is the person responsible for employing the voice over, but bless that person who already started charity work there.
But thank god Xmas is coming. I shall forgive that strange Canadian person who answered one of my articles and criticised my dearest rivals the Americans, so far so good but who also, and I don’t exactly know what is wrong with her but assumed that she was French. Sorry mate. I know some Canadians still think that after all these centuries, funny isn’t it? I think somebody should tell them.
But here we go I forgive them. I have other things to be bitchy about these days
Each time I pass windows on the street my mind is amused and happy again by contemplating the rosbif madness that strikes every single year at least 30 days before Xmas and it is called card mania. What is it with you rosbif that you put all the card you get, big or small, nice or of course generally tasteless, on display at home? I even saw best wishes cards from Boots at somebody’s house once. Why? Why that need of pretending that your nation is populated by friendly people who have friends? You ALL know it’s wrong. Some people even display their cards right next to their front window to make not only those who come to their house think that they have friends but also poor passers by like me who couldn’t care less. I would not be that proud to show off these cards anyway when I see that their ‘personal’ message is on each one:
Dear
.
All my love
XXX
Signature
Well done England
I’m looking forward to the Queen’s speech now, I tell you !!!
Top Home |
|
|
|
|
