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| TV GUY says : ‘stop disrupting my train of thought you ‘Corporate Bastards’’ |
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| Talk,
Jerry Carpenter,
14 January 1999 | |
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Henna used to have Friends, but now those selfsame Friends have moved on. Frasier has been seen with a few, most notably that irritating four-eyed git with the toy psychoanalysis shtick, but I hear he’s hanging with the coffee crowd now. Becks are the hidden consortium behind Tony Soprano (and I thought it was the CIA), but for real power check out First Choice, they’re the Bavarian Illuminati of the inter advertising world. I swear they have their fingers in ALL the pies.
It’s not so much I’m bemoaning the extra advertising bookending the commercial break. Also I don’t believe that by sponsoring a show, advertisers cheapen the integrity and artistic merit of those shows – hell no, most Carlton TV doesn’t have a third of the budget of a quality sponsors lead-in Ads. In fact it’s quite the opposite, I think these little blip-verts have been art directed and sound designed to the point where they’re so distracting they can actually make you forget the show itself.
Normal ads aren’t a problem – psychologically you feel ready for them. Years of TV training has taught our minds when to expect the break (as well as that stripey square in the corner..) and there’s usually a couple of seconds cutting time. But when I’m sitting there, really getting into ‘Steel Magnolias’, it’ll spontaneously leap into the burning beach flares and blaring soundtrack of the Stella Film sponsor slot, and bam! – my train of thought gets derailed. Now I can’t remember who Julia Roberts was shrieking at or why – thanks, you bastards. Satellite fans get it worse of course, the most recent crime being the interspersing of milkshake adverts throughout the Sunday night X-files slots. It’s bad enough that Sky cut ads in during the last 5 minutes of the show, but having a tense climax interrupted by a giant distorted Gulp bottle is asking for a punch.
The jarring effect of a sponsor spot during a feature film or hour long drama can lead to damaging cases of narrative disorientation, tension dissipation, and an anti-compulsion towards carrying on with the show itself. Top scientists recommend taping the show in question and having a fast forward button ready for such incidents. You have been warned.
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